15: The Rule of Six

The government has decided, in its science-based wisdom, that social gatherings should now consist of no more than 6 people.  This also applies in Scotland, but, there, children under 12 years old do not contribute to the total

However, nowhere does the legislation (or accompanying guidelines) explain the status of dogs .... are we included or excluded in the total.  This matters to me as, as regular readers will know, I often go out with my beans as they meet socially with neighbours on a daily basis. If I do contribute to the number, it might mean I am causing a human bean to be excluded from the gathering.   Poor Richard )or Rachel), for example, might make the trek from round the corner to find that a group of 6 (5 beans and me) has already gathered.  Richard (or Rachel) will then have to retreat to their own house and watch Homes Under The Hammer rather than participating in informed conversation and wittty banter.

The longer-term danger here is that Richard (or Rachel), or whoever else is excluded by my presence, will start to resent my attendance at these gatherings ..... and anti-dog prejudice will rise and poison the local community.  We are but a small step from rebellion, rioting and anarchy ... all because the government, once again, has failed to clarify the status of dogs in new legislation and regulation.

This, of course, is nothing new .... where were the dog clauses in the legislation surrounding anti-social behaviour, council tax - or even Brexit.  

I just have to hope that my local community retains its fair-mindedness, and interprets the rule of six in ways that balance the needs of human beans and dogs.