223: Conspiracy

I think I am right at the heart of a conspiracy - indeed, I am the victim of it.

My beans are the perpetrators, along with co-conspirator, Philip, their pup.

They have been holding secret talks (making them, I believe, a cabal) and Philip has been having ‘lessons’ in performing some of my basic maintenance tasks - feeding (including addition of salmon oil to my morning meal), clearing up (occasional) kitchen poop, bedtime rituals, and so on.

This means one of two things.  Either my beans are dying and have little time left ….. or they are going away (permanently or temporarily).   Neither is a great option, though I suppose the going away option is OK for them.

If they were just going away, any takeover lessons would presumably be delivered quite close to the departure date, so it looks as though departure is imminent.  I’ve not seen any brochures, labels or tickets so I don’t know where they are going. or how they are travelling.

All I can hope is that it is a weekend break or short holiday.  More importantly I hope it is not my suggested option 1 - the death scenario.  They don’t deserve to die (at least not yet).

Wait.  On reflection, it can’t be imminent death.  It is unlikely that both would have some kind of terminal illness at the same time. (Isn’t it?).  So, unless they’ve entered a suicide pact and they are on their way to Dignitas in Switzerland (fulfilling the criteria for option 1 and option 2) . I think I can rule out option 1.

So it must be a holiday - without me!

There is not much I can do about it -  make Philip’s life hell while they are away. Then he might persuade them not to do it again.

Now what’s the best way to spread chocolate over the lounge suite?