41: So this is Christmas?

This was my first Christmas in a proper home.  They didn’t bother in the kennels where I lived (if you can call it living) previously.  So here are my observations.

Human beans eat an awful lot.  Much more than at other times of year.  And they drink considerably more alcohol (though until I saw it, I wouldn’t have believed it possible.). Then they complain about how much weight they’ve put on - and promise they will soon start a diet (just before they have their next turkey  and scotch egg).

As for me ... I had my usual meagre rations.  Nothing fancy, nothing special ... nothing interesting.   Luckily the human bean alcohol intake does mean there are more crumbs than usual to pick up ... and I’m not talking small crumbs, but large(ish) pieces of turkey that have slipped from the plate or from the sandwich due to the lubricationary qualities of cranberry jelly and chutney.

An interesting phenomenon is that bean behaviour changes with alcohol consumption.  Jokes that would be groaned at if they were sober become uproariously funny.

(Sample...

Question: Where would you find a dog with no legs?

Answer: Right where you left him.)

Those beans who cannot sing think they can after a couple of gins! TOWTSH can’t!  Not even after a beer, a gin, white wine, red wine and a gloss of port.  Of course, after that lot, he couldn’t even remember the words.

Human beans must like turkey.  They eat it for a lot of meals at Christmas time, leaving very little for their dog.  (who has been very good for the last few weeks).   A few scraps would have been nice.

After lunch, my beans and their family exchanged presents. What did I get?  I can see that you know how this is going.  I got zilch, nada, zero, nothing!

So Christmas is a time when humans go mad.  They overeat, over drink, over spend and over extend their credit cards. They also ignore their dog(s).  Of course, it might just be my beans.

This is not the behaviour of sensible, empathetic, careful creatures is it?