05: The Virus

All humans seem to have a fear of this thing called the ‘coroner virus’.  When they go out, they wear masks so the virus can’t recognise them. They try to avoid any contact with strangers - and since ‘lockdown’, this seems to include even family and friends that don’t live in the same house.

So, what exactly is a virus?

You do realise you are asking  a dog!

I’ve never been to school, much less college or university, but I’ll do my best to explain - based on what I’ve overheard on the telly box.

A virus seems to be something like Santa Claus. It can fly around the globe in a very short time …. but unlike Santa Claus it doesn’t bring gifts to good children. 

It brings sickness to naughty adults - those who have not practised social distancing, not been self-isolating, have not avoided public transport or crowded places and have not generally stayed safe and protected the NHS.

Talking of Santa Claus, the NHS (for non-British readers, this is the UK National Health Service) is a bit like a Christmas Club. Everyone pays in a little money each week and when they need it, they get free access to doctors, nurses, pharmacists, hospitals and other healthcare components - though  not, unfortunately, vets. 

The virus seems to  be ill itself. I hear people saying it is getting weaker but it seems to have acquired additional weapons - which might result in a ‘second wave’ or ‘second spike’.

My human beans are quite old and therefore ‘vulnerable’ but the virus seems not to have noticed and just passed them by.  That’s probably  rather good for me - as from what I’ve heard dead owners tend to feed their pets very infrequently.

Enough for now - I’m off to find a tissue to eat.  There’s usually at least one in  the lounge paper bin.