I would love to be able to have conversations and discussions with a human bean.

None of this would matter if grapes were not poisonous to dogs -

I think I should go on Trust Pilot and give my human beans a positive rating.

The problem is that I have not exactly been a good girl whilst he has behaved so well.

It might come back to haunt him when she realises all of his little improvements have come to nought.

I don’t like bullying and intimidation of ‘little people’ by the rich and powerful.

Tasteless isn’t satisfactorily damning enough.

I’ve noticed with human beans generally that the more they plan and the more they spend, the less satisfied they are with the outcome.

Everyone spends a lot of money they can’t really afford on presents for people thy don’t even like

I am sure malevolent forces were at work.

I’m stuck here in a torpor of unexcitement (if that is a word) and I have even stopped fearing the worst is yet to come.

I’ve rather forgotten what ‘normal’ is!