From past experience I know wine is something that many human beans regard as one of life’s great essentials .

They haven’t even upped my food intake to give me more calories to fight the cold.

I look lie a malnourished dog.

I’m thinking of ‘pulling a sickie’ - playing ill on the appointed day.

I find I have lots of good ideas but when it comes to delivering on those ideas, it often feels easier to sleep for a few more minutes.

It won’t improve my health or well-being, It won’t be pleasant. It strikes me as being barbaric.

Humans are allowed their one day when they can forget their diet, their obesity ond their reduced lifespan.

The ignominy! Do I look working class?

Those of you who know me will know that I have a few psychological hangups.

The other criterion is that my name should reflect the fact that I am a pedigree dog from a ‘niche’ breed - there are not many of us field spaniels around.

When I look imploringly at him as he eats it, he says things like “No, this is not for dogs”

I assume this extends to bitches like me.